Double Dragon - Jay Review

By: Jay Murphy

Well it’s the second video game movie ever made, will it learn from Super Mario Bros. mistakes? Will a few well known actors save it from the same fate as its predecessor? Read on to find out.
Double Dragon is about Brothers Jimmy and Billy Lee who after having there guardian killed go on a quest to find the missing half of the Double Dragon medallion. Along the way the brothers encounter gangs, chicks with whips, mutants and demons.
I want to start by saying two things, 1. Double Dragon is a heck of a lot better than Super Mario, 2. The movie is definitely aimed at kids. This movie has a heck of a lot more in common with its video game counterpart then Mario did and the action is a lot better but sadly sense one of the actors knows martial arts and the other doesn’t, the action is very mish mashed.
One second you will have Mark Dacascos spinning a broom handle with great skill then the next you have Scott Wolf spilling gumballs on the floor to make a bad guy slip and fall Looney Toons style. In this inconsistency that takes away from the entertainment the fight scenes would have provided. Which is a shame because the rest of the movie is very childish. The jokes are not really funny and the sight gags aren’t very good either.
As for the likeness to the game that’s where the movie excels. Both Lee brothers, Alyssa Milano’s character Marian, Lash, the Chinese twins or chins and Abobo are all in the game however some of the roles are changed as is some of the back story In the game Marian is the girl who gets punched in the stomach and kidnapped, in the movie she is the leader of the power core and a decent fighter. Here is some caparison shots.

Billy, Jimmy and Marian posing for a group shot



Marian getting kidnapped at the beginning of the game.

Not much to go on for a live action costume and a lot of women were upset when the game first came out so they made her sexy while being strong and independent. A change I don’t mind at all. Billy and Jimmy as you can see form the above shot are dressed in blue and red most of the movie. Towards the end they get shiny homo erotic gis pictured below.



The villains also look very close to their game counter parts-


A drawing of Linda Lash from the game/Live action Lash and the Chins.

And my personal favorite

Game Bo Abobo/And movie Abobo.

The other changes are minor. In the game it’s a gang ridden post apocalyptic New York in the movie its Las Angels now dubbed New Angels. And in the game the Brothers are heirs to a unique fighting style in the movie it’s the medallion. The main problem the movie suffers from is lack of martial arts choreography. Marc does his best but if the movie had a Yuen Woo Ping behind it may have been a lot better.
Robert Patrick delivers as Koga Shuko with lines like “Abobo I think of you like a son. And like a son I can always have another.” He’s full of the 80’s cartoon villain cheese that makes us love characters like Cobra Commander and Skeletor.
The acting wasn’t really bad but the writing I wholly believe was aimed at children with sight gags like screaming while staring directly at the camera and cheesy one liners like after Billy pins one of the Chins hair in a suitcase saying “what a head case” . One thing I did like in the movie was the way all the gangs had different themes like in The Warriors.
How would I do it? Well like I said previously I would have focused more on quality fight scenes. I didn’t mind the medallion story line but I would have had them have to use the powers more than they did in this movie. Also I would have established that Marian was Billy’s girl friend at the beginning of the movie and had her kidnapped like in the game.
Overall for nostalgic value the movie is worth watching every now and then. The acting isn’t terrible and the fights are entertaining enough to enjoy. With all that said let’s move on to the scores.
Overall the movies gets 4 out of 10 Dragons. Enjoyable if watched only once in awhile.
Acting gets 4 out of 10. Nothing to horrible but nothing that brings you to tears.
Plot gets 6 out of 10. I already explained the changes and they are minor enough to make no difference. And the original game has very little plot anyway.
Content gets 6 out of 10. All the major enemy types are present as well as the main characters wearing outfits close to their game counterparts.
Well that concludes my second review. Again I hoped you enjoyed it and please feel free to leave comments below or email me. Next up is Street Fighter Followed by a Mortal Kombat double review.

Have a Question for Jay? email him here!
Jay@RizRaveReviews.com

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Super Mario Bros, The Movie - Jay Reviews

Written By Jason Murphy

Thanks for joining me for my first review as part of Bored Shitless. Today we will be taking a look at the first video game movie ever made Super Mario Bros. The year is 1993 videogames are quickly becoming main stream and a Super Mario movie is coming out in May what more could a kid ask for. Was this first venture into live action video game adaptation movies any good? Read on to find out.


Super Mario Bros. is about Mario and Luigi who travel to another dimension to help overthrow a tyrannical dictator and rescue the princess Daisy. Along the way they run into Goombas, Cops and King Koopa himself.


Ok let’s just start by saying this was not a very good movie. It is such a departure from anything having to do with the game. First and foremost while they refer to themselves as brothers and act like brothers Mario and Luigi are technically father and son. During a double date Luigi states that Mario adopted him and raised him. That aside there is numerous other things wrong with the story.


The Mushroom Kingdom is an alternate dimension which I do not mind it actually makes since but here’s the kicker, it is populated by super evolved dinosaurs that after 65million years of evolution have human forms. So instead of the turtle dragon thing from the games we get Denis Hopper as King Koopa. Also instead of being bright and cheery its dark and un down like a bad part of New York.




Above are the King Koopa from the movie and Bowser from the game. Big difference I say. Now while most of the main characters are present in the movie most do not resemble there game counter parts.


Live action Mario and Luigi/Video game Mario and Luigi


Live action Daisy/video game Daisy


Live action Iggy and Spike Koopa video game Iggy Koopa. Spike does not have a video game counterpart.


Live action Goomba/Video game Goomba


Live action Big Bertha/And the giant red fish here is the video game Big Bertha.


Live action Toad/Video game Toad

Now Mario and Luigi once they get there classic game outfits look decent enough except for the fact that Luigi is played by a Hispanic. Now I’m not racist and I love John Leguizamo as an actor but these are two of the most famous Italians ever. So like changing how they are related changing the race is silly. There are a few more things from the game that make it in. There are jump boots whose cartridges resemble bullet bills, and the boots themselves are a reference to Mario’s jumping abilities. There are fire ball launching guns that represent the fire flowers and at one point Mario uses a mushroom as a shield which may be a reference to the power mushroom from the game.

Luigi picks up a Bob-Omb which is an enemy from the game. The fact that the king is fungus and reverts to normal form once Koopa is defeated is a reference to Super Mario Bros. 3 where each king has a different form and is turned back to normal once the boss for that world is defeated. Also at the beginning of the movie we get the classic Mario music and the De-evolution guns are actually the super scope accessory for the SNES. Yoshi makes an appearance but instead of being a smiling green dinosaur you can ride he is a tiny raptor but he does retain his long tongue.
Horrible plot and lack of similarity to the game aside the acting is actually not that bad, it is the writing that I have a problem with. The jokes are not funny, the banter is annoying and the great actors in this movie are wasted on the crappy writing. The Directing is mediocre, nothing special and just ads to the films demise.

The fact that they used Daisy instead of Peach upsets me a bit. At the time of release Daisy had only been on the game boy Mario games and the games have always been about Mario saving Peach not Luigi saving Daisy. This coupled with the complete departure from the bright and beautiful worlds we get in the games is very upsetting.

How would I do it? I would have gone in an Alice in wonderland type direction. Two plumbers get hired to fix some underground pipes, they discover a giant pipe, not just the human size ones from the games but like big enough to drive a Buick into. They fall in and get transported to the Mushroom Kingdom. While there the brothers make friends with Princess Peach and the rest of the royal family. Later Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser or Koopa’s minions (as his name had not been recognized as Bowser at this point). The Brothers then agree to go out to try and save Peach.

The enemies would be as they are in the game and being so small I would have Mario dispatch most of them by stepping on them possible hitting some of them with random radishes in reference to Mario 2. Eating the fire flower would give Mario and Luigi the ability to conjure and shoot fireballs out of their hands. The mushrooms would make them stronger and more durable not bigger like in the game.

Overall the movie fails horribly as both a video game movie and an action adventure movie. All the changes will turn fans of the games off and the incoherent plot and horrible plot will turn normal movie goers off as well.

Overall the movie gets 2 out of 10 Fire Flowers. As I said above writing is bad and lack of familiar locals and characters ruins it.

Acting gets 4 out of 10. It was a decent effort but the writing hindered the actor’s natural ability.
Plot gets 2 out of 10. No Mario game not even Mario RPG has anything to do with what happens in this movie.

Content gets 2 out of 10. Some familiar names and weapons that resemble items from the game are here but besides that there is nothing more for fans.

Well that concludes my first review for Bored Shitless I hope you enjoyed reading it and I’m always open to constructive criticism so leave your comments below. Next up we take a look at Double Dragon.

Got any Questions for Jay?
Send him an email, or leave him a comment Below!
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Welcome Jay Murphy!

Written By Jason Murphy

Hello Riz Raves fan’s. My name is Jason I don’t have a net handle just yet so Jason or Jay is just fine. I do not have a video camera so all my contributions for now will be text articles. My main focus will be on movie reviews however I will only be reviewing live action video game adaptations. I will start with the first, Super Mario Bros. The difference between my reviews and a normal movie review is that while a normal movie review focuses on acting and directing ECT. My reviews will focus on how the movie stacks up to the game

The review format will go Introduction, Plot Summary, Review, How I would do it and then the scores. The introduction will simply be what movie I’m reviewing and maybe a small tidbit of info. The Plot Summary will be no longer then a paragraph. The meat of the review will contain spoilers as these are mostly old movies. I will do as much research as possible before reviewing the movie including playing the source game if possible.

The how I would do it section will be one or two paragraphs on what direction I think the movie should have gone or if I would not change anything. The scores will be in these categories. Overall, the score the movie gets as a whole. Acting, how well the actors portrayed the characters they are supposed to be. The plot, how closely the movie resembled a plot from the game or games or at the very least how close in spirit it is to the game. Content, how much stuff from the games are in the movie whether its characters, weapons, outfits, special moves ECT.

In addition to the reviews I will have top ten lists and possible joint reviews with Riz later down the line. I should (no promises) have my first review out sometime tomorrow and I hope you look forward to reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

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The Expendables - Movie Review

Tuesday 7/09/2010 Video.



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